Letters 2010

Letter 07

6th August 2010

Dear Catherine,

It is a year since I wrote to you.  I stopped as you said that you did not want to receive letters from me and you hadn’t opened the ones I did send.  I understand why you do not want to see or hear from me, at least I think I do and I wonder if you will ever change your mind. 

I think about a lot, wondering how you are, how you are getting on at school, how is your room, whether you are sleeping alright and if you are happy.  I have a photograph of you in St Anselm’s uniform in front of me at work but it is about three years old and you must have changed, so I don’t really know what you look like.  I suppose I often wonder if you think about me and imagine you don’t really given the letters you sent to the judge.  Nevertheless you may, just a little bit, wonder what I am doing.  I would be able to tell you that I am fine, looking after myself.  I am quite healthy thankfully, I have a long walk to the station in the morning and another from the station to work.  It works out at about 2 – 3 miles a day, but it is good for my health.  I have been thinking of getting a bike, but haven’t got around to it yet!  Remember learning to cycle in the park – I wonder if you ever get to have a cycle nowadays?  I also play tennis in a local club.  I really wish I could teach you to play tennis.  I bet you would be good and you would enjoy it.  It is a great way to make new friends and also keep yourself fit.

I remember lots of things we did together.  It is easier for me as I am away from you and I have to conjure up an image of you.  I have dreamt about you quite a few times, you never seem sad in my dreams.  I would be upset if you were.  Have you dreamt about me!  I better not have given you nightmares as I wouldn’t want to do that.  When you were younger you often asked me to tell you a murder story when you were going to bed!  I must have told you dozens of different stories as you didn’t want the same thing.  You always featured in the story with some of your friends and the story always had a happy ending.  I can almost remember the stories, I wonder if you do, or the ones about Lennie the lobster?  It sounds really childish and I suppose, being a young lady, things like that wouldn’t enter your mind.  For me it is just a part of the happy memories I have of you.

I went to Rory’s wedding a couple of weeks ago.  All the cousins were asking for you, especially Gavin & Gregor.  The wedding was really enjoyable and I wished you could have been there.  At the church I felt sad about the fact that John also couldn’t be there, but it was a happy occasion and it was very enjoyable.  Maybe you can come to the next wedding with me.  I don’t know when it is going to be, either Gavin, Gregor or Tonia. 

I have to get back to work now.  I am still in the same place you used to come to!  I even have things in my drawer you left.  Anyway, once again, please don’t forget that I love you always,

Lots of love,

Dad  xxx                                                                            @ work