letter

2 June 2009

Dear Catherine,

I saw your letter to the judge.  It was very brave and mature of you to write directly to the court and I saw him read your letter.  I was proud of you that you had taken the trouble to let your feelings be known.  The judge suggested it was a good idea for me to write to you sometimes and as it is your birthday I am including this with your card.  I am sure the judge is wise in his suggestion.  I hope you read it, I am typing it so you do not have to try and read my scribbley scrawl. 

First of all I did not realise you were so angry with me, so I must say I am really sorry I had that effect on you.  I am also very sorry that your mum and I are splitting up.  If I was clever enough I would have managed it much better so as not to cause you so much unhappiness.  The reason for our split is only down to me and Soulla.  You might say me only and you might be right.  But I would like you to know it had nothing to do with you at all.  In fact when I think about it, you were always the peacemaker trying to make me do things in a better way.  So you must be even more angry with me that I did not seem to be able to follow your advice. 

I will give you a bit of news.  I am living in Harrow in a room which is a bit bigger than yours.  I am ok looking after myself.  I live with a young couple who are quite good to me.  I miss my home and you and the garden and the B9 bus and lots of other things.  I walk everywhere and get the H14 bus sometimes.   Have you mastered the bus to school yet – I bet you have.  I had to get a new mobile as my (very) old one packed up a while ago.  Do not worry it is not the latest thing in phones but is quite nice and I like it a lot.  How is your phone?  I have been to see uncle John twice since I saw you.  He is very brave and managing himself well but I am sorry he is not fully healthy.  Maybe you could write him a card or something to encourage him – he always asks about you.  I will probably go to St Anselm’s fair in a few weeks time and would love if you would come with me?  Otherwise I am working hard as quite a few people have lost their jobs here.  I get to work before 8.00 and usually leave around 7.00 – I do not want to be one of those to become redundant.

I agree it is a nightmare at the moment.  The only good thing about nightmares is that the end sometime – remember my bus nightmare?  I hope and pray your nightmare will end soon.  I want you to remember that I have loved you always and always will, whatever happens.  If you ever want me to get you something or if you want to contact me you can do so at any time.  You say you do not want to see me and I will not go against your wishes, only if you change your mind.  There was a good show at Watford theatre I would like to have taken you to for example.  In the meantime I will try to be good.  I will write to you every two weeks on a Thursday with some news of me and some pocket money for you.  I will not say much if you do not want me to, but I would like you to know that I am well and missing you.

 Lots of love,

dad 

xxx                                                                            17 Harley Road, Harrow HA1 4XF