Letter 36

22nd July 2015

Dear Catherine,

I suppose everybody must think I am crazy writing to you, knowing that you are not going to read this, in fact you may never read it.  It is just for me to release some of my thoughts about you into letter form as there is no other way I can express these thoughts.  They are precious to me and will always be for you, my youngest daughter.  If at some time in the future you wonder about me, these are here to help you understand.  My thoughts and feelings of love for you will never diminish.  It was a sleight of hand, or a trick played on me that took you away from me, which I was not clever enough, or more likely too naive, to recognise at the time.  But when the die was cast, it was too late.  Of course I regret it profoundly that it happened, that I let it happen, but I accept what I can't change and I get on with my life, only saying a prayer every day we will be reconciled.

I did leave work on 26th June, as planned.  The company gave me a great send off on that day; they also gave me a contract to come back if at any time there was something they had for me to do and I was free.  That kind of lessens the huge change from having a 9 to 5.30 working life to a so called grinding halt.  In fact I have a lot of things to do anyway, private work, my allotment, decorating, catching up with relatives & friends etc.  At the moment I am in a village outside Prague called Statenice.  It is only 30 minutes bus & tube ride into the centre of Prague, which I have been doing for the last few days, but I am having a rest today.  Prague is great, I'm sure you would love it.  I just had a long weekend in Znojmo, near the Austrian border which is a well preserved Gothic town with a fantastic web of catacombs beneath.  I have been staying with a niece & nephew here, who have been really good to me.  On Thursday I fly to Dubai with Brendan to see his brother Mark who is coming across from Melbourne.  The weather has been in the 30°'s, which is great, but a bit tiring sightseeing; Dubai is going to be even hotter.

I expect you are having a well deserved holiday at the moment, to forget about the A levels for a while until the results come out next month.  I really hope you get the results you need to get to the university of your choice and that it all turns out to what you would like to do and enjoy along the way.  I don't suppose I will get to know your A level results, which is a shame, but rest assured I will say a prayer that they are good.

With all my love for now,          

dad  xxx                                                                           Prague