Letters 2014

Letter 27

21st October 2014 (at work)

Dear D,

You have become a virtual person, with your identity locked in your Facebook account from which my access is barred; that is apart from seeing your profile and cover photos.  Even now I can see your smiling face looking at me with your charming smile and open face.  For me it is a living death, you are there to see and imagine, but you are not real, just an image on my pc screen of what you must be like.  Facebook gives me my only connection to your life.  As if I am trying to stalk you or something; when I am your dad and I love you, there is nothing sneaky about it.  I sometimes want to reach out and catch your shoulders, look in your eyes and say ‘Look, it’s me, your dad, remember’, but you just stare through me, as if I wasn’t there!  I notice you have given public access to a review you did of your aunt’s property management business.  I wonder why you did that, I am sure you did the review to encourage your aunt, which is understandable, but the business does not look as if it is successful and then I suppose you wouldn’t want to limit your review to only your friends.  But that is the only other piece of information I can glean from your account.  Thinking of Facebook, I hear you have become friends with a girl, who was one of your friends for a while when you were in junior school until your mum fell out with her mum.  I am encouraged that you maintain contact with school friends from that period when I used take you to school sometimes and let you wait outside his office for a moment while I consulted the head teacher, before delivering you to your classroom.  I remember working hard to have a new insulated roof put above the first floor of the school, because there was mould on the ceilings and you were to move up there the next year for your final two years at junior school.  They wanted to re-decorate the area of mould, but I considered it unhealthy and wouldn’t have wanted anyone to have to spend their schooldays there, let alone you.  So a new roof was added before you moved there.  Those were days long when I was able to demonstrate my care for you in every which way.  And what happened?  Who knows?  And will it ever change?  Who knows, it is all down to God’s will.  I hope you will give Him a hand.

With all my love for now,

dad  xxx